Boys With Toys [For twelve_not_fourteen]

[brother_alone]

Josh is making a real effort to try and get his life in order.

He's leaving his shanty more and more often, clean cut and wearing fresh clothes rather than the grimy tattered mess he'd arrived in months before. A few odd jobs around the Nexus have allowed him that much at least. They never last too long though. Partially because they're just that: odd jobs. But also, because one Bad Day or episode is all it takes to get him let go.

It's discouraging because Josh is trying so hard.

Not for himself, really. There's enough self loathing within him to bury him several times over. He hates himself. Hates what he's done. What he is. What he sees. But there are people he cares about, people who see something else that Josh doesn't.

People like Chris, like Dia. And like Han.

So when Josh's phone buzzes, he assumes it's one of the only people in this place who gives a shit about him, or the newest place he works at occasionally with some hours for him. He isn't wrong. Han wants to know if Josh is up for fixing up that rust heap he'd picked up a few weeks back. The memory makes Joshua smile as he unlocks his phone to reply.

Sure thing. Meet at your ship I'm assuming?

He doesn't wait for a reply when he leaves his shack. Josh figures he has plenty of time to change direction if need be. It's not half bad outside today anyway, and the walk will do him some good.

Comments

[brother_alone]

"Hey man, I get it. I really do."

Han's meant to do some great things. Meet some great people. People much better for him than some schizo kid living on the streets could ever be. What could he possibly do for Han? Nothing. Han's done a lot for him and continues to let Josh tag along.

But there's nothing he can offer the pilot. Josh gets it.

It still hurts to think about.

"I'll look after this girl once we get her up and running. It'll make for a great memento."

He won't come back. Josh knows what's waiting for him out there. Thinks he does anyway. But he smiles as though he doesn't. Tries his damndest to make it seem genuine too. Come on Josh. Tease, be friendly. Don't make him feel sorry for you.

"Plus I can think of at least a couple of people this baby is gonna impress the socks off of. It'll be way easier to do that without you crampin' my style bro."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

There was a self-admission about to come out that only a handful of people knew about him that Han was going to share. Intended to, anyway. It's just that the conversation isn't really going that way anymore and that's fine. He would have been changing the subject, which is ultimately what Josh did himself anyway ...

Anyway, there's not much he can think to say to assure the kid he does plan to come back. There are plenty of people that go back and forth between the life that they came from and life in the Nexus - Natasha and Reddington and Kirk - maybe he could figure out the way they do it.

"There's all kind of people I want to see here again" He murmurs as he takes his sip of drink. "... But of all the things that happened to me since I've been here, I never thought I'd find a little brother in the Nexus."

[brother_alone]

Josh freezes where he sits, bottle halfway up to his lips. Has to swallow hard. Several times because he feels a bit short of breath. He remembers when he first met Han here in the Nexus, how the other had scoffed at the way Josh spoke.

He's no one's brother.

"Y...yeah?" He can't help the smile that creeps across his face, tiny and proud and altogether....happy. Family has been something Josh has been lacking for quite some time, even before the Nexus. "Well, shit. Looks like I'm never getting rid of you for good then, am I?"

Family? Family.

"Not used to suddenly bein' the younger sibling. Does this mean I get away with all the shit and give you hell? That's what my sisters always did." Hannah. Beth. They'd forgive him, right? He's not replacing them. No one could do that. But it's nice to be wanted. To belong somewhere again.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

As if Josh was the first person Han ever treated with derision. Pretty everyone he's meeting for the first time gets the same treatment. He's bristly at first, but if you hang around long enough to prove you're worth something to him or have the good sense to stroke his ego ... then he might warm up to you.

And his little earth brother, regardless of his intentions, has been doing both. As far as he can tell the kid seems to look up to him. That means something to him.

"Yeah, you're stuck being in my shadow, Josh, sorry about that." He says with a slight smirk. Though when he mentions what family is supposed to do, his eyes narrow in thought. What does he actually know about family? Not ... all that much.

"I have an aunt and a cousin that are still alive, but I'm not really close to them. I figured this was the kind of things two brothers would do together ..."

[brother_alone]

"I was teasing. It...I don't want you to be like my sisters. I just..." Josh shrugs, looks the other way after a moment. "S'the first time I've mentioned them since coming here without..."

Losing it? Being in a hallucination? Hearing voices?

That's progress, right?

Josh would like to think so. He hopes so, even.

"Refurnish a wreck? Oh hell yeah. This is male bonding at it's core. Beer, tools, getting dirty." Josh shakes his head. "Who the fuck cares what normal families do. We do what we want, bro."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

"Well, that's good because I would make a lousy sister for plenty of reasons." Though he's lacking the context of that reveal. He doesn't know that his sisters have always been a topic that triggers for him or even that they're not alive anymore. For all he knows, they're just ... still on earth somewhere.

Still, he'll listen to the kids assessment and nod his head. Damn right they can do what they want. Who the hell is going to stop them?

"I'm never going to call you bro. You do know that, right?"

[brother_alone]

It's something Josh will be able to talk about someday. For now...it's alright that Han doesn't get it. Either Chris will fill him in eventually or Josh will. Or he'll be on the receiving end of one of Josh's awful hallucinations or nightmares and he'll find out that way. For now it's not something he needs to worry about.

"Eh? You don't have to. I told you a while ago man. That's just like. Slang. Where I'm from. We don't have to be family to be bros. It's its own thing. It's like. Close friend. Sorta thing. I use it a lot."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Josh is not giving his linguistic prowess enough credit. Han has figured out that 'bro' is a derivative of brother that's popular among a certain subculture of young earth men. He's not just been around him and Chris often enough to have sorted that out, he's seen it among other Earthers in the Nexus.

He just thinks it's going to sound stupid if he tries to say it. Kind of like when he actually tries to speak Shriiwook. Some sounds are just not meant to be made by human vocal chords.

"I gotcha. I'm just saying. Don't expect it from me."

[brother_alone]

"Please. Your thing is 'kid'. Or whatever your token pet name for women is at a given moment." Josh smiles around his next swig of the Rhyll and seems to be thoroughly out of whatever funk he'd fallen into at the thought of Han leaving.

Even if he does end up spending a long ass time saving his galaxy. He won't forget about Josh. That means a lot to him. Being remembered, cared about in any capacity.

"So...the thing looks like it's more or less done dripping." He points to the bike by tipping his bottle toward it. "We gotta let that thing fully air dry or what comes next?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Is that a dig? Are you saying that the things he says sound funny? Because if it is, he'd tell you that you were wrong, Josh. He's not going to assert that, however, because he's not out to start an argument. He just wanted to cheer your ass up. Something he seems to have had at least a little bit of success in because you're smiling now.

Anyway, 'brothers' as a metaphor for the two of them worked in his mind. It implicates a closeness and fondness that Solo isn't always the best at expressing, but it also implicates a time of separation too. Even the closest of brothers have their own lives to lead. It just means that when they're together again (and they will be) the can pick right back up where they left off.

"I want it somewhat dry before we keep going." He says taking a sip of beer and then, regarding the swoop for a moment. "The next step is tearing out the engine. Taking it apart, cleaning it and largely guessing what components are working and what isn't."

[brother_alone]

Separation is fine. Josh has plenty going on that he doesn't want Han to be hovering over his shoulder while he's dealing with it. People have their lives and he's absolutely right. Separation is something he can deal with, even if it's not Josh's favorite idea.

Isolation is what he can't deal with.

He's had a fear of it for years, exacerbated by the disappearance of his sisters and his parents and friends' withdrawal after. Multiplied to a crippling paralyzing anxiety after his weeks of being left alone in the mines, after that awful night when he enacted his 'Plan'. And isolation is what he had feared from Han leaving.

For now that has been waylaid quite well.

"Okay so...spanners and elbow grease I'm guessing?" Josh tries to think of what else they'd even need. Give him a second. He can ask intelligent mechanical questions. "What do we do about the bolts rusted on?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

"Break em and replace em." He says with a shrug. "With how badly this thing has been treated, I imagine there isn't going to be much we aren't going to be replacing."

It would certainly be cheaper just to junk this thing and buy a new speeder, but that was never what this was about was it? This was about doing something constructive and getting in touch with a part of yourself that you haven't had the time to go back to in ages. The bonus was finding out Josh wanted to work on it with you ...

The last time Han had gotten to teach anyone anything was when he first won the Falcon from Lando. Chewie was already a good mechanic, but he didn't know the Corellian makes of ships the way Solo did. They spent that first year just taking a lot of things apart and putting them back together for the sake it. When they weren't hauling something, that is.

[brother_alone]

"Well yeah. But I mean, with what? You got a saw or something on the ship that we didn't bother grabbing?"

Josh knew that much. He shrugs, shoulders bobbing before he gets to his feet and sets the bottle back on the ground in the safe place he'd been storing his first. Stretches his lanky torso and gives his head a few sharp jerks this way and that to crack his neck.

The only mechanical work Josh has done in any capacity in his life has been special effect oriented and even that was mostly ordering parts online and building. Never restoration work.

"I mean I'm strong but I'm not gonna be able to rip those boys outta there on my own."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

"Some of that depends on the bolt you're trying to remove." He says as he drags his thumb across the glass bottle thoughtfully. "I've used hand tools, saws, mallets and torches."

At a certain point, you use what you have and you do what works. "Hand tools are preferable, because they tend to preserve the threads better than ... let's say a torch, but also they're the hardest to use."

He wasn't planning on getting much further than the flushing today. The shit has to dry and he has to get some of the engine parts he thinks they're going to need before they start trying to tear it down.